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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Got Your Back Jack


Summer had come with a vengeance.  I woke in the morning with the sheets clinging to my legs.

“Great.”

Normally I love summer, but when it gets hotter than a pancake grilling on the pan, I just melt, literally.  I was sitting at my table drinking my morning coffee and reading the newspaper when someone knocked at my back door.  I peeked around the corner as I walked and saw that it was my neighbor Willodean Farris.

“Hey girl, what brings you here this hot morning?  Come on in, can I get you anything to drink?”

Willodean was my closest and dearest friend.   Her hair was strawberry blonde, blue eyes and a body that was pleasing to the eye.  She was a beaut.   My brother Dean always wanted to go out with her, but being the chicken that he was, he’d drool from a distance and dream.  I can imagine what they were like, but that would be a little bit disgusting, not to mention creepy.

“If you got lemonade I’d love some, if not, I’ll be just fine, parched, but fine nevertheless.”  She sat down just as neat as a pin with her cut off shorts and pink tank top…and bare feet?

“Willodean where are your sandals or any shoes for that matter?”  This really struck a chord with me, because Willodean is the Queen of fashion, the girl who thinks that feet without shoes is naked…
I handed her a glass of pink lemonade.

"I know this is so out of the norm for me, but I had to rush right over and show you…um, you have sandals I could borrow for a smidge?”

I looked at her quizzically.  “Ah, yay sure, hang on a sec.”  I ran and got my shocking, hot pink flip flops with rhinestones and brought them out to her.  “They’re a might big for you, I want them back…”
“Hush, I’m not going anywhere with your sandals, just gonna use them.”

She placed them on the floor in front of her and stared at them.  I mean, “really” stared at them.  It was an odd moment for us.  I wasn’t sure if I should sit next to her and stare along or say a prayer, although I don’t think she was praying ‘cause her eyes were opened and all.

“Willodean?  What are you doing hunny?”  I whispered.

“Shhhh…” Her eyes never looked at me, she just kept on staring.  Damn if this wasn’t boring. I mean I've done some boring stuff in my time, but this made it to the top of my list.

There we sat, like two peas in a pod, staring at my shocking, hot pink flip flops with rhinestones…could we get more stranger than that?  After about five minutes had passed, I was starting to get sleepy, and then it happened, one of the sandals moved.

“Oh my gosh, how did you do that?”  I yelled.

“It’s called telekinesis; I’ve been practicing every night.”  She beamed as if she just made cheese come out of a cow.

“Well, what for?  I mean, it’s cool and all, but does it have a purpose?”  It was a neat trick.

“Well, it would come in handy if I’m attacked, especially if the weapon is not in reach.”  Poor thing was dead serious.  Got to hand it to her though, Willodean always thinking of ways of protecting herself, I admired that.

“Hunny, if it took you this long to make one sandal move a centimeter…you best call the undertaker first.”

“Charlese, aren’t you the tiniest bit excited about this?”  She was truly hurt.

“Oh, I’am, but I’m looking at it realistically too. If you want to really protect yourself, you need to start locking your doors, because you don’t.  This little trick of yours is all that it is, a trick; cool one at that, but nothing more.”

I got up and started to wash the few dishes I had in the sink.  Willodean was down in the dumps and got up herself to leave.

“Well, I guess I’ll go.  Thanks for…well, thanks.”   The door creaked and slammed shut before I could get a word in edgewise.  Put an apology on my list of “to do’s”.   I heaved a heavy sigh.

I was about to go outside and do some gardening when I thought I saw a man.  He was lurking in the back yard.  I checked again and sure enough there he was.  He just stood there looking at me.  Creepy.  I kept my eyes glued to him until he vanished in thin air, right before my eyes.

“Whoa, now that was incredible and a might scary at that.”  I wandered outside and had myself a look about.  I scoured the back yard, the sides and the front, but he wasn’t in sight.  As I turned to go toward the backyard he was right in front of me.  Tall, dark and…and really creepy, but in a good way.  Have you ever read those stories about meeting a tall, dark and handsome man?  Well, this was him.  He wore dark pants, shoes, dark shirt and had dark eyes.  His hair was dark too.   This man was dark all over and lord if I didn’t want to jump his bones, but I composed myself and looked frightened…in a sexy way, which didn’t come across as that.  More like a bee had stung me.

“Haven’t you ever heard of approaching people without showing up completely by surprise and right in front of them?  Haven’t you ever heard of personal space?”

“Personal space?  What is this personal space?”  His voice was soft like butter and it glided so smoothly into my ear.   I wished I was toasted bread just then.

I saw my hoola hoop and fetched it, placed it on the ground next to him.

“Step in.”  I pointed.

“Why?  Are you imprisoning me?”  His face was so fine, something right out of Renaissance time.  He was sure pretty.

I snorted.  He’s dumber than a box of rocks. “It’s a hoola hoop!  You know you put it around your waist and wiggle your hips.”  He seemed to like that idea.

“I like hips.  I like your hips.”  Ok, now he was creepy again.

“You want to know about personal space or don’t you?”  I was truly annoyed.

“Actually I came by to visit you.  You are…so…so beautiful, so breath-taking that I had to see you.  Make love to me.”

Well, that’s a fine howdy do if you ask me.  As much as I would love to accept his invitation to jump his bones, I thought it might be a bit on the fast side, seeing how I didn’t even know his name.

“Hunny, as much as I would love to accept your so called invitation, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”   I wondered what he looked like without his clothes.  I bet he’s got a six pack under that shirt and I can’t begin to image what’s in his pants, but I have a pretty good idea.  I grinned.

“Why not?  Am I not presentable enough for you?”   He displayed himself very nicely and I have to admit, I wanted to change my mind, but didn’t.

“Oh you’re hunky enough that’s for sure, but you’re also a bit creepy.  Sorry, don’t mean to be rude.”  I started for my door when I found myself in the clutches of his strong masculine arms.

“I want you and I will.  Kiss me.”  He leaned his head down just as I was about to scream, then something hit me in the head.  I looked, a pink flip flop with rhinestones…my sandal!  Who in the hell is throwing my shoes at my head?

“You let her go, you, you monster you!”

Well, what do you know, it’s my knight and shining armor, Willodean and she’s come to save me…with sandals.  How courageous of her.

My monster of a man let me fall to the ground and I scooched  back.  He looked at Willodean, then me, then back to her and smiled.   Oh, oh, this wasn’t good; it was Willodeans turn to have a go with Mr. Hunkiness.  Willodean, upon seeing his intentions stared at the nearest weapon…the hose.  Oh good lord, this was not going to turn out in her favor, his yes, hers…no.  She stared with all her might and she gave it a real good try.  Her eyes got all serious and sweat beaded off her head, all of a sudden the hose started to wiggle and then, it spurted out some water.  That was it.   Yay for the bit of grass that got some water.  Next thing you know, Better Homes and Gardens will be coming out to take a picture of my lawn.

“Willodean did ya...?”  Nope she didn’t.

I was not going to have my day ruined by some man who couldn’t take no for an answer.   I saw my Granddaddy’s ax up against the tool shed and I stared.  Then I thought to hell with that and went to pick it up.   As soon as I did, I marched over to him and connected right into Mr. Hunkiness’s head, down he went.  Willodean looked at me with total awe.

“Charlese, you did it!”

“Willodean, people say, “practice makes perfect”, but my Gran always told me to practice is a waste of time, just do it, so I did!   You want some more lemonade?”

Sue Mydliak is the Vamplit published author of Birthright. Candra Rosewood returns to Utica, but she's already missed her parents funeral and everything she thought about her life turns out to be a lie. When Kane turns up unannounced on her doorstep, Candra, fights her strange need for him.Is he somehow involved in her parents’death? Is the mysterious Mr Bennet a friend or foe, and can she trust him when he says she's descended from powerful vampires.
Genre: Fantasy, Romance--Words: 44664--Published: Apr. 17, 2011--Purchase on Smashwords
These thirteen tales of terror prove that nothing is ever what it seems. You’ll find twisted stories of dangerous love, hungry predators, and tortured souls. Enter the mind of author Sue Mydliak, and find out just what lurks in the dark.
Genre: Horror -Words: 13282-Published: June 9, 2012-Purchase on Smashwords

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