Hatred hath lain within my veins, simmering until days light extinguished into the hills, leaving a fiery glow, and then darken, cold like you. I stood there and waited, like a statue, carved and worn within its crevasses, until my nightmare appeared in the distance.
You were always the one with dramatic entrances, feeling the need to look opposing and haughty, but I knew thee better. I didn’t fear thee, nor cringed at thy sight; instead I stood my ground and as I waited the wind did blew your black hair. Like tentacles, they streamed out from your head, reaching, finding me, but lost.
Eyes closed, I remembered thee well, when you were not as you are now. I still can feel you, your touch, such warmth that crept into the depths of my soul and haply took thee as mine. Fool I was then, to believe in such frivolous ideals, but then you took me and I was yours…body and soul.
I hate thee as I hate myself. For nightly, I wept at my loss and wish for days when I could laugh and be who I truly was. Untainted with a heart that leapt for the pure excitement that life hath given me, but you in your changed ways were selfish and took what was me with you and threw them away, never to be seen again.
Give me the strength dear God to take away from you what you took from me, and then let me be whole…I sense your closeness.
Eyes opened, and there you are, as I remember, yet, not. You are not the same, the warmth of you hath bled, as if an opened wound, left unaided, festered and came unclean. I want to be moved, I pray that you move me as you did once before, in a time where we pledged our love for all eternity…please my eyes spoke. Yours moved not, but took me down with one fell swoop.
In the distance there, you are…with my blood on your hands. I am free from my pain.
Copyright ©2010 Sue Midlock/ Mississippi Crow Issue 10
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